Changes

Am I looking a gift horse in the mouth? I've got a writing gig that gives me a flexible schedule and the ability to work remotely (whether that's in a coffee shop or from my bed). It pays enough money to survive, if not to live. I get to research a variety of topics and learn tidbits of information about so many different things. Thing is, I'm real sick of it.

I've had to reflect on the past couple of months doing this particular gig. I needed to figure out why I had to constantly force myself to get work done when I was so lucky. After all, I told myself, steady work is good right? As a freelancer, you don't always get things that are steady. So why couldn't I just get down to business and get my work done? Am I lazy? I thought of the number of times I woke up early in the morning (like 3am early) for a film shoot, staying on set for over 12 hours just to be an extra. So that couldn't be it. Did I hate the work? I mean sure, copywriting isn't really what I see myself doing with my life, but I need to be able to pay my way through life until I reach my goals (which oscillate between the WWE hall of fame, an Oscar for best actor, and whatever the equivalent is for people who write novels). So I don't have much of a choice.

So I honed in on the cause of the frustration. I thought about every time I threw my hands up, baffled by what I needed to do. It got me to where I am now. I'm not enjoying the time constraints I'm being put under (2 hours to do research and write 1000 words? That barely got me through university). I'm not enjoying the way editors treat my articles (I'm open to feedback, but when you give me no direction to begin with then make me completely shift the tone of the article...there's a problem). To be honest I'm not enjoying some of the articles I have to write either (How to be sophisticated for teens, or how to breed the next generation of elitist internet trolls). I've been complaining about this writing gig for weeks, and it was time I did something about.

So I started looking for other writing opportunities, as a fiction writer or as a blogger. After sending off my applications, I've got two writing tests to complete for two different opportunities, to determine whether it's a good fit. So in all likelihood, I may be able to move on from my current frustrations, all because I set my mind to doing so. Keeping my expectations low however, don't want to get carried away.

Last little tidbit: I was supposed to film a couple of things this summer. It hasn't happened. I'm not going to start drama, I'm not going to point fingers, mostly I'm just going to stop complaining about being stuck in this situation. I'm not stuck. I bought my own camera and I'm going to film my own stuff, because I need to, and because I want to.

Change is good. If you keep complaining about something, shut your face and take action. Make a change, and however it pans out, at least you'll have one less thing to complain about.