If you’re particularly eagle-eyed, you’ll notice there hasn’t been a podcast for several weeks.

I swear I’m not just lazy.

I’ve been feeling unmotivated to work on new podcast episodes, and there’s a pretty simple reason why. I wouldn’t listen to them. Marketers talk about providing “value”, how that’s the most important thing you can give a customer if you want your marketing to be heard. For an author (or aspiring author), having a podcast is a way to develop a platform, to gather readers. The basic premise is, if your podcast is good, you’ll already have people interested in what you’re going to write before it’s released (and if you’re a new writer with good numbers, you’re more more marketable for publishers and agents).

That was the reason for starting the podcast, and the blog. I wanted to reach people, give them value. Eventually, I wanted to leverage that into readers for my book. I’ve been working on building a platform for a year and a half now. It’s slow, and still small, but that’s not the issue. The issue is I don’t feel like I’m providing any value. Initially, I tried to give insight on what it’s like to work at something like this, a creative field where it feels like no one’s on your side and competition is intense. But everything I’ve said has felt like easy, common-sense stuff that doesn’t need to be rambled about over a 15 minute episode. I’ve also tried to document what I’m going through, rather than giving advice.

That didn’t work either. I think writing can be boring if you’re not already interested in it. There’s a magic and romance to the thing, but the actual act itself is pretty boring. I wouldn’t stream myself writing because I wouldn’t watch a stream of someone typing for three hours. Since writing is kind of boring, and that’s all I’m doing, I don’t have much to document. I’ve been doing almost nothing but writing and rewriting for the last year and a half. I haven’t started querying, because I’ve got nothing to send to agents yet, I haven’t been fielding anything from publishers either. I’ve just been sitting in the dark, writing stuff.

Nothing interesting there.

That said, I think it’s important to be grateful for what I do have. I want to thank everyone who has listened to the podcast, and the few who have told me they enjoyed it. I’m also deeply grateful to those who have shared words of support. The podcast isn’t gone for good, I’ll rework it and come back with someone fresher, more interesting. I’m just at this threshold where I kind of have to figure out why I’d do it.

The internet is already full of writers, most more successful than I am, with dozens of videos covering writing advice like “show, don’t tell,” “set the scene,” “write a great plot twist”. They all look the same, and a lot of the advice is copy-pasted from video to blog article to podcast and back to video. I don’t want to add to that pile, and I’m not qualified to teach other people how to write anyway. I’m still figuring this shit out and there’s a lot left on the pile.

So where does that leave...everything? Well, the novel’s nearly finished, and I’ll start querying soon. November’s just a week ago, and November brings NaNoWriMo. I think I’ll start on my next novel then. I plan to keep writing books and keep throwing them at agents until someone buys something. I’m thinking of keeping some kind of video diary as I go through NaNoWriMo this year. I want to do a daily thing, but we’ll see how that goes.

In the meantime, if you’re interested in what I’ve written and what I’ll be writing in the future, watch this space. If anything crazy happens, it’ll be here first.

Thank you to everyone who’s followed so far. I won’t disappoint.