Not Quite Dead

I can't believe it's been nearly a month since my last blog post. I could use any number of excuses to explain it all away, from lack of time, being super busy, being mopey, hitting a downturn, frustration. Excuses are garbage, and I don't think anyone reading this deserves an excuse. The simple reason for my absence from this blog is not giving it the time it deserves. That's probably not a great move for a young guy trying to build his brand. The truth of the matter is, I don't really know what my brand is. Part of me feels like I jumped the shark, trying to build a brand before the product was figured out. Sure, I'm the product for the "Whiskey and Stardust" brand, but what kind of product am I? What value do I bring?

As an actor, I'm only a bit better than average and haven't really been in anything I feel truly proud of. As a writer, I've yet to get a single piece of fiction published. I've done plenty of copywriting, and some of it is out there on the internet for all to see, but the things I care about, the stories, haven't gotten out there. Ironically, I think I've achieved the most success in my wrestling career, such as it is. I achieved my first victory a couple of weeks ago, albeit in a sneaky way (I'm a villain after all). I told myself that it was more important to shut up and do rather than bore people with my musings on the path there. I'm not sure if I really believed that, or if I simply used it to excuse my laziness. Because that's what truly kept me from giving the blog the attention it deserved. I'm a perpetually lazy guy, and it's a continuous struggle to get over that to do what needs to be done. In truth, I think that documenting what happens at this stage is beyond important. Everyone's eager to grab a megaphone when they're already successful, mostly so they can tell everyone how they did it (for a fee). No one's so eager when they're in their mom's basement, writing in a basement with stars in their eyes.

So, let me catch you up on what's happened lately.

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Time, Appreciation, and Routine

I'm a wee bit scatterbrained today. I've just finished a four hour round trip to be at a 10-minute audition in Montreal, and I still got wrestling practice on my plate today. It's a big day. To keep myself from rambling, I'm organizing my thoughts into three big sections. I can't promise it'll make much more sense.

On Time

Four hours isn't the biggest round trip I've ever done, and 10 minutes isn't the shortest audition I've ever had. I've gone to Toronto for less, and that's one hell of a round trip. To be completely transparent, same day round trips to Toronto are pretty rare. I've only done it once, and it was by train. It was the only time I took the train. Usually, I drive everywhere (because the train is hella expensive). In my mind, a four hour round trip for a meeting without guarantees doesn't seem too crazy. For plenty, it's probably a huge waste of time or maybe just not good value for your mileage. I need to admit that there's a part of me that thinks this way too. It's not necessarily that I think of how much money that lost time is worth; I'm nowhere near at a stage in my career where I can think that way. Rather, I'm thinking that if the audition doesn't pan out (because they haven't so far), there are better things I could have done with my time. I could have been writing my 2000 words a day, writing a script or practicing some obscure acting technique. It's frustrating to think about the time lost, and it makes me wish I had the money to use public transportation to get to where I need to be. The train isn't that bad, and it means I get to work.

Now let me tell you why that's bullshit.

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